Physical or Mental?

So I've heard of issues that children can have due to their parents deploying, but I guess I never really worried about it since my son Tyler is such a well-adjusted, well-behaved little boy. Now I'm not saying that he's now the complete opposite of a well-behaved child, but I am saying that I've now experienced first-hand just how much these things can affect kids.

A little bit after Rob left Tyler started complaining about stomach pains. It went on for a couple of days and since Tyler is not one to make things up I started getting concerned. I made him and appointment and just to be safe they did stomach x-rays. Other than seeming a bit "backed-up" it looked normal, but in case it was the reason for the pain they gave me stool softener for him. While I was there for his stomach pain I also let the doctor know that Tyler seemed to get tired faster than I would expect for a healthy 6-year-old boy. The Dr. ordered a bunch of blood tests and told me she would let me know the results. She also told me she wanted to see us again in a couple of weeks to see how Ty was doing.

Fast forward to the appointment a couple of weeks later. The new information was that it turns out Tyler's stored iron levels are low. He isn't anemic cause technically his blood iron levels were in range, but he could be if we didn't do something about it. So he now has to take iron supplements twice a day for three months. The downfall... potential constipation and guess what Tyler at this point was still complaining about stomach pain so the doc recommended he stay on the stool softeners for now. So lets talk about those stomachaches.

Based on the info from the doc (the being backed up and the iron deficiency) I figured Tyler had some legitimate issues but the frequency of the stomach pain seemed to increase everyday. My usually really good little boy got to the point he was crying daily, complaining about everything and anything and overall was being real whinny. Part of me was worried that something serious could be going on but the childcare provider, and the school, noticed nothing out of the ordinary and said Tyler didn't complain or even seem sick to them.

I started noticing that when I picked up Ty from childcare he was playing and having a good time but once momma was there he'd clutch his stomach and say it hurt.

I basically started telling him that if he was sick he had to rest and not watch TV or play video games etc. This was just in case he was making it up so I wasn't rewarding him and making him think that this was the way to get attention.

That didn't work. So I got even stricter. That didn't work either. So I started to try to ignore him when he did it. Ummm... guess what? That didn't work either.

Now when I say I ignored him I wasn't ignoring that he had pain, but instead I would tell him once he was done whining and freaking out we'd talk and I would ignore certain outbursts that seem to coincide with him not getting his way or me being busy (which is basically all the time due to this upcoming deployment). Well, I reached a breaking point the other day and basically cried with him. My 6-yr-old seems to have decided to resort to emotional blackmail and has thrown in my face the conversation I had with him a couple of weeks ago about me trying to spend more time with him. "Momma, you said you'd spend more time with me," says Tyler right when I tell him its time for bed. "Momma, you said you'd spend more time with me," says Tyler when I explain its a weekday so no video games. So now torn between guilt and worry I lose it and just cry and cry.

So crying doesn't do anything to help right, but breaking down showed me I needed to figure this out. So as soon as I got to work I started researching, since everyone told me it was probably mental stress that was causing Ty to act the way he was.

In my research I learned that even though the reason for the pain was probably mental, the physical pain was real and Tyler basically was telling the truth when he told me (more than once) "I wish you could be me for just one day momma, then you'd know that it does hurt and I'm telling the truth!"

Ok so I believe, what now? For starters I let him know that evening that if he was feeling good we'd have a special day and go to the zoo after school-- that night no pain. Then I took off the next day (the day before I posted this) and we went to the zoo, played mini-golf, went to batting cages and had dinner-- guess what? No pain all day. He seemed so happy. I explained to him that we wouldn't be able to hang out again till the weekend and the weekend after next is when I make the trip to drop off the love of my life. So what happened this morning? Any stomach pain? Nope! But it looks like he may have pinkeye... Ugh I can't win.